Disturbia (In La La Land)

Yuck.



Recently, I've been observing fads that I've participated in in the past. The more I look back on them, the more I think, "what the hell was I thinking?". I have taken the time to explain some of the fads in paper...and I realize that I probably should claim insanity at this point.



1. Beanie Babies.

Remember those growing up? I had a ton of them...and still do (in my attic in a box somewhere). I remember the first few I've ever gotten. Ears the bunny rabbit, Lucky the lady bug, Legs the frog....I got my first ones for my 8th birthday. I remember my party vaguely....my sister was just learning how to drive, and under my mom's instruction, she was going to drive us around for the day. I remember being in the car several times before this when she would attempt to drive... and I remember it never seemed to last long. One particular time, she was almost so nervous, she drove towards the green utility box. Anyway, on my birthday, my friends Sara Gossett and Dale Brodnax were in the backseat with me as we were headed to our destination. I told them to "hang on to the beanie babies, and try to hang on for dear life if they still had room as well". Flash forward a few years later, to 1998. I was in the hospital for one of my numerous surgeries, and mom had gone down to the gift shop while I was sleeping to get me a little gift since I was getting depressed. She came back with Quackers the duck....and to my surprise, in her other hand....was the bear that TY had made to commemorate Princess Diana. I was in shock...and obviously, my mom had no idea about the significance of the gift. I told her that the bears were rare and should have been very expensive. Even my nurse asked where I got it. Within an hour, mom said that the gift shop was so busy, you couldn't even get in...and all the bears were gone. Looking back on it now, I realize the whole thing was more than a little absurd, but when I was 8 years old, I thought they were the greatest thing.



Which brings me to my next disturbing fad.



2. Pokemon.

Remember that HUGE fad back in the early 2000s with the cards, action figures, and movies? Well, back in the day, I somehow got yanked into that. I don't remember much of this fad, but I have two particular instances that I do remember. My sister's then boyfriend James had spent a ton of money on a holigraph Hitmonchan card, and I loved that thing. However, when my friend in Florida saw that I had it, he wanted it. He offered me 3 holigraph cards (Venosaur, Alakazam, and Clefairy) and I thought it was a good trade. However, James was slightly upset when I told him what I had done, and I went to see if I could get my card back from my friend. He wouldn't trade back....and I felt awful about it. The second memory I have about this particular fad was the first Pokemon movie. My mom had taken me and a few of my friends to see it....and she fell asleep during the short film before the movie. When it was all over, she woke up and asked if "that yellow thing stopped saying "Pikachu", to which I remember feeling slightly insulted.

3. Giga Pets/Tamagotchi.
Remember those? The little virtual animal games that were so addicting to take care of, and you thought you were totally awesome for having one? Then your pet died and you were frustrated because you had to start over? The ones that you might have taken to school with you and played with it in class to keep it alive? Yeah, I did all of that. Mom finally hid it from me...and I think she ended up throwing it away. Makes me laugh at the things I got so fascinated with as a kid. I blame my parents and our lack of animals in the house....if my sister and I had a dog or something to take care of, maybe I would have not been so compelled to not pay attention in class because of my portable pet on a keychain....

That's all of my childhood fads I remember right now....that, and I think my hands are starting to cramp from all the typing.

Much love!

Coco

Into the Fire.....

So, since I've forgotten to update lately, here goes:



I'm officially 23 years old, and had a very awesome birthday celebration that lasted an entire week (thanks to my friends who all wanted to buy me a meal for my birthday present). It concluded with my sister taking me, her friend Arlene, and my friend Angela out to dinner at the Four Seasons in Dunwoody. That town still freaks me out.

Lately, I've realized I have a sleeping problem that is slowly causing my days to blend together. The last few nights, I've been going to bed at 5 AM (because I never can seem to get myself tired sooner) and then I've been sleeping until mid afternoon the next day. I've tried correcting this by going to bed earlier and trying to change my diet, but nothing seems to work.

I also attended Julie's bachelorette party 2 weeks ago. I was very apprehensive about it because all of Chan and Ena's friends would be there, and they haven't seen or heard from me in months. I was worried that there might be some animosity directed at me by everyone since I felt Chan had said that I was crazy and that the failure of our relationship was totally my fault, but I didn't really have to worry. Sure, it was awkward....but I let it go eventually and we all managed to have a good time. I also hung out with Chan's first girlfriend, Natalie, the next day to catch up. We used to be really close when Chan and I dated, and she took it upon herself to fill in the blanks of things that I missed out on and things I don't remember. Honestly? I'm glad I missed out on all the stuff she filled me in on. It sounded like WAAAAAYYYY too much high school drama for me.

I really, really need a life.

Coco

Paper Gangsta (An Interesting Conundrum)

Yet again with people contacting me!

This time, the person in question was that of my old swimming teammate, Owen. We met sophomore year on the swim team, and had a few classes (German only) together until May 2005. The following year, he completely changed tracks and headed to McCallie, a boarding/military school. He has always wanted to be in some branch of the military.

He chose the Navy.

I hadn't thought too much about him (except for the occasional memory that would randomly pop up). I was somewhat distracted when we were in close quarters during high school, and got irritated with everything at the drop of a hat. I was mentally drained from mom's illness, and then there was the happy distraction of my boyfriend at the time. I never even looked much in his direction. He was more of an irritation to me in the sense that he would "tug at my pigtails" because of my refusal to acknowledge his presence. He was "the hottest guy on the team" but I had no interest. The fact that he irritated me was enough for me to keep ignoring him, which made him try harder....with zest.

The other day, I realized I never read anything in my yearbooks that my mom bought me. While perusing through signatures and the traditional "have a good summers", I come across Owen's familiar scrawl in my 2005 edition of The Paragon.

He had gone to prom with me and my boyfriend as my friend Megan's date. The humiliating events of that night came flooding back to me in living color as I read what he had to say.

"Kristen,
Prom war so spass (I cringed here and edited this after reading; I'm somewhat of a grammar Nazi in German). Really, you looked great and I had a great time. Erik is a neat guy, so good choice anyway.
Bye,
OK"

This message seriously left me going, "WHAT. THE. HELL." So I asked my friend Matt, who I later found out knows Owen, about his thoughts on the matter. He seems to think that Owen might have had some sort of crush on me back in the day....which gave me a conflicted feeling. If this were true, how could I not have seen this?

I then showed him my message I had written Owen on Facebook, and also Owen's reply. I am supposed to be in Florida about an hour and a half away from the Naval base where he is in May (for a bachelorette party for my friend Susan, but also to visit mine and my sister's grandmother) and wanted to know whether or not Owen would be interested in meeting me at all for lunch one day in order to catch up on things.

His reply? "Sure! That would be great! Pensacola is fun."

Matt reiterates, "Yeah, he has a thing for you. He knows how that was going to be read. There's no way in hell he would be so enthusiastic if he didn't, or if you were just a friend."

So I'm confused now.

Stupid boys.

Liberty Walk

So, I guess more updating is in order.

I reiterate this....I'm so glad I'm returning to normal. I'm searching for a full time job, and it's slow going. However, that's okay....I'm keeping positive by knowing that someday, my efforts won't go on unnoticed and someone will take a chance on me.

Even though I've been extremely stressed, I have my sister and friends (Brianne, Britt, Michelle, Hannah, Sara and Angela) to bring me back to Earth. They keep me laughing and smiling...and I know as long as I have them, nothing can stand in my way.

Another notable person in my life is a quiet pinnacle. Someone who I had pushed aside several years ago way back when, but who has now become one of my best friends. His name?

Rami.

The nature of our relationship has been the weirdest friendship ever. We had met in 2003 in chorus. He was a freshman, and I a sophomore. Rami was (and still is) this adorable, fun-loving kid that used to irritate the hell out of our teacher. For years, I thought of him as my little brother....even though he's only 9 months younger.

So, we were talking one day. Apparently he and his girlfriend went through a nasty breakup around the same time I had. We talked each other through it for hours, and eventually developed a friendship out of it. We share jokes, and even toss around ideas of hanging out when he comes to visit next time.

Oh, yeah.....by the way.....Rami is in Minnesota.

And the next thing came as an absolute shock to me.

We were chatting one day, when out of the blue, he blurts out, "I really had a thing for you in high school."

To this day, this still stuns me. Here I was, sitting at my computer after this bomb has been dropped, and I couldn't think of anything real to say. I think I said, "Awww....." in response, but that got me thinking.

My ideals from back when I was in high school have changed. Back then, I would never consider a guy if he was even a day younger than me. I know that's a little outlandish, but I didn't like the idea of being "the older woman".

I didn't ask him about what he thinks of me now, but I'd guess that from the rest of our resulting conversations that things haven't changed a bit. So this has me wondering what things would be like if he were closer. Would we be in a relationship? Or would things get so terribly awkward between us that we'd stay friends....or worse, I'd lose him? I don't think I could live with losing another good friend....especially not after losing Heath.

Heath was a learning experience, and a rebound of sorts in many ways. It was, however, doomed from the start. We worked together, and even that has changed now. He and I basically went from texting a bunch daily to hardly speaking. Even our coworkers have noticed something's off. We've never addressed it's over, but at this point, who cares?It's not as though we're speaking, anyway. That, and he was being kind of jerk-ish anyway.

So I have a dilemma. Or....not really, since the distance between me and Rami kind of effectively answers a lot of questions.

It doesn't keep me from wondering, though....

Coco

Other Side of Down

I kind of forgot my password to this thing. That, and for a while there, I had lost my drive to write. Let's just say that the "old Kristen" everyone knew and loved....is back again, and ready to party.

Speaking of parties, I'm extremely excited about two things for this year:

1. My dear friends Chris and Julie's wedding at the end of May!
2. My sister and best friend, Susan Pierce, is getting married to the love of her life the first weekend in June!

First of all, I'm blessed to be invited (well, in Susan's I'm a bridesmaid) to both events. They've all played an irreplaceable part in my life....and help get me through the darkness into the light (and on the path that I am now).

On Chris and Julie:
My meeting them both is a little fuzzy, but I know this much: I would never have been breathing at times without them. They have saved my life more times than I can remember. I met Julie first in 2007 in our Biology class with Dr. Quartemus. I remember vaguely choosing to sit next to her....and then I asked her a question. She meowed at me. That was the weirdest response I have ever gotten from another human being! But, I meowed at her back. From then on, we'd meow at each other. Halfway through the semester, I suffered another setback. I had to have another surgery for my shunt.... and Julie helped me get my assignments for class. She said she went up to Dr. Q to get them and told him she was a friend of mine (and that I was in the hospital). "His response was to blink", she said, "But then he said, "The girl you meow with?"" Julie laughs and then says, "I was like, "Oh, shit, you heard us?""
I met Chris in August 2007, only a few days after my incident with another kid on campus (we all know his name by now). I was afraid of everything male. I couldn't sleep, but when I did, I'd have nightmares replaying the incident. I was placed on several different drugs to help deal with the pain/insomnia/depression, but some things you can't fix with pills. Anyway, Chris came up to me in the crowded Suite Center and hugged me. He said I "stiffened up like a board, and that everyone in the room was giving him the "eat shit and die" look." He was the first guy I had ever relaxed enough around and let him hug me. It was weird at first, considering I was scared and I had no idea who he was, but eventually I learned that he was Julie's boyfriend. He's now one of the sweetest, most protective people I know. Together, they've been through a lot of my health issues (one involved me stripping.....although I swear I don't remember this!) and I've helped them deal with various issues of theirs. They're my brother and sister. They gave me a great gift.....a family. I know I had a family to begin with, but they couldn't always be there or understand what I was going through. Sometimes, I just needed someone to listen and not judge me. And they've done that. I'm excited for this new chapter in their lives.
On Susan:
Susan is really the first friend I've ever had. She's known me since I was born. Her older sister and my sister are best friends, and when I was born, Susan got someone to play with. She and I share a love of dance and animals. We have attended numerous dance recitals that each other were in. Her parents are mine and my sister's adopted parents, and vice versa. One of my favorite memories of us was when we all were together (Maggie, Susan, Michelle and I) and we'd play dress up using the box of clothes that were in the attic. We used to play things like, "doctor" and Susan and I would often play with the dollhouses her parents had made for them. Because I loved it so much, mom and dad eventually made one for me as well. We take care of each other. I'm glad to be a part of this new chapter in her life as well. Susan is very sweet and deserving of every good thing she's ever gotten. I know that if I ever needed anything, I could always call up not only my biological sister, but Susan as well.

So many positives in my life, and so many blessings! It's been a long, hard road for me, but things are getting better!

Love to you all,

Coco