Of Weekend Parties and Nightmares....

Okay, this weekend Chan and I went with his sister and her boyfriend Lang to Milledgeville (Georgia College and State University). Our friends Natalie and Cory were having a last hurrah in their apartment because Cory graduated from college, and Natalie is moving to Atlanta. We left on Friday afternoon and concluded our trip Sunday afternoon. It was really a lot of fun. It went as follows:
Friday: It was Chan and my 6 month anniversary. We got to Milledgeville to spend some time with Cory at home before all the other people got there. Gradually, when people started showing up, Chan and I separated to do our own thing for dinner to celebrate "us", while the others stayed in and ordered pizza and drank beer while watching movies and playing some Left 4 Dead on XBox 360. We had a nice dinner and came home to continue hanging out, then went to bed early.
Saturday: We all slept in pretty late, and then we decided (minus Kayla) that we were going swimming in the nearby river. Cory brought Justin, who is kind of an interesting match for her (I don't really know what to call him exactly) who decided that he was going to fight the current and swim across the river to a place where there was an outcropping of rocks and cement sticking out of the water. He jumped in and failed, the current taking him further down until he was able to grab ahold of a delapidated bridge. He then tried to swim back across the river back to us, but got caught again and ended up having to float partways down the river until he could find a place to get out. Natalie and I decided we were going to try to make it to Justin's outcropping, and so we swam (which wasn't easy, mind you) across the river and made it. Luckily, Natalie and I have had years of experience on our side to help us with it. Eventually, Lang (Ena's boyfriend) decided to join us. The three of us were just chilling on the outcropping for a few minutes.
Here comes my nightmare:
Chan's hydrophobic. I guess because he saw Natalie, Lang, and my journey across the lake, he thought he'd try it. Natalie and I were chilling out watching everyone when we saw Chan get into the water. I turned to Natalie and asked, "Wait....isn't he hydrophobic?" but he seemed to be doing okay, so we left him be and watched as he tried to swim towards us. He got about a quarter of the way before I noticed he started breaking rhythm. I knew that if he did, the current would take him. Sure enough, he was tiring out and the current started drifting him away from us. I jumped back in the water and started swimming towards him. He was starting to panic because he was tiring out and had no energy. He grabbed onto me while I tried to make sure we both kept our heads above the water, but he wasn't really helping me stay afloat. I kept reassuring him that he was going to be okay. It was all I could do. I could hear the rest of the group from the shore yelling at us. Lang had jumped in the water (along with Justin) to try and help us both. Chan eventually let go of me and floated down the river, while Lang swam ahead of us to try to find a safe place for us to get out. I don't know, but somehow I ended up being far away (ahead) of everyone else because I was the one actually swimming around with the current, which had eventually calmed back down. Cory had ran down the banks to find me and encourage me to a place where it would be safe for me to get out (away from copperhead holes), where Lang had apparently told Justin and Chan to get out. I grabbed Cory's shoes she offered and ran down the banks to where Chan was.....and didn't leave him alone the rest of the weekend. I had a rough night sleeping that night. I kept dreaming that I didn't get to him in time. Chan must've realized what was going on during the night because he told me later that I had tossed and turned a lot and grabbed onto him in my sleep. I can't even begin to tell you how freaked out I was.
Sunday: We all slept late again and packed to go home. Chan and I went home first, with Lauren, Lang and Ena following. We spent the afternoon at Lang's apartment playing Mario Galaxy 2 and then watching Harold and Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay. All in all, despite the whole "River Fiasco" as I call it......it was a great weekend.

6 Months.....And Counting!

Okay, I'm getting to be a terrible blogger.

Since my last post, not much has happened with me except for the fact that I've been going to work each day and coming home. That, and I usually frequent Dunwoody, where Chan and his sister (and some of our friends) live.

I've been an emotional rollercoaster lately. Most of the time, I don't really have a lot of people around to talk to. Chan's been trying to help me with that, honestly. I'm not very good at expressing my feelings (especially those that pertain to him), so lately we've been arguing. I'm frustrated. I can't seem to get used to the fact that a guy actually wants to pay attention to me. In the past, I've been with a bunch of guys who just never cared.

Hence my irritation. I'm not used to having someone actually give a crap about why I'm in a depressive state, or in a very angry one. I'm used to getting really pissed with one person (and then having that person follow me around the house, yelling at me and feeding off my anger, which in turn makes me more angry that he's mad and following me......and it turns into this long, exhausting, vicious cycle.

My frustrations center around Chan lately. We've been having issues communicating. We both are of the single mindset where we bottle everything up until something triggers an explosion, which usually ends up hurting the ones we love the most. My irritation with Chan lately has been centered around the fact that we're both being hypocrites.

We're working on working it out, though, because we've both realized that what we have is rare and we both want this to be a good thing, and for us to grow as a couple.

That being said, I have a lot of insecurities about relationships. Mine have been less than stellar. I'm working on trying to learn from my mistakes in my other relationships while trying to not repeat them with Chan. We are celebrating our 6 month anniversary today (can you believe it? I know I can't!) and we're going on a mini roadtrip to see some friends of ours for a party at their apartment to celebrate their graduating from college.

Part of my problem with my relationship: I'm having to be integrated into a very close knit family. My own isn't really all that affectionate. My sister is married and has her own life, so I hardly ever see her (that, and she's 7 and 1/2 years older than me....although all of this stuff I'm saying isn't meant to be negative), and my dad is working through his own problems and has Connie, his fiance'. I'm usually on my own in dealing with stuff, because I can't exactly talk to them due to their busy schedules.

Then there's Chan's family. His sister is very sweet, and is a little younger than me. She understands where I'm coming from with my emotions (usually regarding her brother) and is willing to listen. Their mom is pretty cool as well. She's very sweet and has been very accepting of me. Their dad I don't know very well, but he seems nice when I see him. The whole family is very affectionate with one another and that's what's taking me some getting used to. That, and the fact that I'm still sometimes sore about my mother's death doesn't help either. Especially since his mom is so sweet.

It kind of messes me up because I have purposefully filed memories of my mom away in a corner of my heart. Being around his mom kind of makes me realize what I'm missing from my life (my mother was the staple of our family) and it's kind of making me replay old memories and I often go into a state of distress.

Acceptance is key....and I've got to learn to continue to move on.

Work has also not been very kind lately. I've been severely cut back at work, so I'm not making as much money as I'm used to. They are not being as civil as they used to be. We're slower now because we don't have that many appointments rolling in, so the stress from that is totally killing the atmosphere. We had a change in management recently and the new practice manager (even though I'm really trying to stay out of her way/be nice to her at all times/help out and go beyond my job description) and I aren't getting along. She's also head technician, so I realize she's under a lot of stress as well.

Chan's been trying to get me to get a job closer to Dunwoody so it would be easier for me to visit and maybe would help to keep my stress level as low as possible. With all of these new changes that we want to start making, I'm getting very stressed/depressed. I've realized that my job doesn't really make me happy anymore. I mean, I still love my animals, but what I really don't like is the hostile environment. It puts a lot of stress on the workers, and then NO ONE is happy.

I've been antisocial as well. I don't have a lot of energry lately because work zaps most everything I have out of me, and I don't really want to deal with anyone's craziness or bullshit. Chan is really enough of "craziness" I can handle on a good day. It's nothing personal, but I'm trying to work to change that behavior. It'll make Chan happier, but it'll also benefit me too.....because I'd like to have some new friends, maybe even a change of scenery.

Well, it's late. More later.

The Lake House

Okay, so once again, I am terrible at remembering to update this thing.

This past week was spent with Chan and Ena (as well as some of the most fabulous friends we have) at our friend Matt's lake house.

All I have to say is, wow....

Our vacation began last Saturday. It was Chan's Spring Break, so we were all excited to get away for a nice vacation. I had gotten the time off of work (and the permission to go from Dad, thanks to Chan and Ena for their help) so we went on our merry way.

Sunday, we ate out at Zaxby's. On Tuesday, we received word that this had happened:

Yep, that's right. That's the Zaxby's we had eaten at barely 36 hours later. Apparently, the whole thing caught on fire Monday night. As far as we know, no one was harmed. However, it left all of us craving Zaxby's.....and cherishing our new limited edition Zax Sauce.

The entire vacation, I haven't had a day go by without hearing from work. Apparently, everyone made a mess in their cage the night before (from Kim on Saturday through Wednesday) medicines were never filled/were missing (from Stasi on Thursday) and then a family member went into labor and could I come home and work.... (from Stasi Thursday through today)?

Meh. Thank God for Chan, who kept me laughing and mostly calm and collected. And for Matt, whose crazy antics kept me laughing the entire trip.

Anyway, not much else to report....other than THE LAKE HOUSE WAS AWESOME!!!!

BAZINGA!

Of Craziness And Friends.....

I have the best friends ever.

Literally, when I'm in a bad mood, they help me keep my chin up. For those that don't know me very well, I have a very dark personality with an even darker sense of humor. I sometimes identify myself with the pessimist Meredith Grey on Grey's Anatomy, except for the fact that I didn't sleep with most of the town of Boston. Like Meredith, I am an eternal pessimist. My friends have often said that I'm "dark and twisty". I love Edgar Allan Poe, one of the darkest poets who ever lived, who did nothing but drink and write creepy poems about the death of his wife and family.

Anyway...

I spent some time with Chan, his sister Ena, and Chan's friend Kenan tonight. I was very tired after a long day at work (that REFUSED to end!) and was unwilling to put up with anyone's BS. Chan called, and wanted me to come over and spend some time with him, saying his friend was coming too. I was under the impression that it was just going to be the 3 of us, but then Ena came along, which evened the ratio of girls/boys.

Ena's awesome. She never fails to make me laugh, and watching her interact with Chan sometimes can be far more entertaining to me than Discovery Channel's Shark Week. I guess that's what you get when you have siblings so close in age, as well as being so close emotionally as well. I'm not saying that my sister and I aren't close (because we are) but we're not AS close in comparison to Chan and Ena. I guess I've never had any of my friends REALLY be close to theur siblings, so this is all new to me.

And I guess I should point out a fatal flaw: I'm not used to having a guy who is so into me. I've always been with guys who were more into themselves. They never showed me one ounce of affection. So with Chan, I feel a little awkward. I talked to Ena (while Chan was off doing something) about it, and found a common ground with her on the subject. She knows I love her brother very much, but at least she knows I'm a little unnerved at times by how much her brother feels for me.It helps to talk to her to sort out some of the things I think about in my head. She's also very easy to joke around with, and isn't easy to offend.

Chan and I (along with Ena and Kenan) went to Walmart to look at some Nerf swords for a video Chan wants to shoot with his best friend, Matt. Chan and Ena were going through the swords and playing with them, even dueling! It was rather amusing. She bought a bubble wand and was running throughout the parking lot making bubbles, and it reminded me of the past I had forgotten, of my innocence and youth.

Good times.

Im Old on Valentine's Day

Okay, I guess I should really fill in the blanks for the last few days.

Valentine's Day: Chan had to work , so I went and spent the day with my very good friend, Angela. She and I used to work together at the first veterinary clinic I ever worked for, and we bonded and have stayed friends even though I left 4 years ago. We had a good day shopping together. She and I went to the Mall of Georgia to look for something nice to wear (as Chan was going to take me out to dinner that night). We'd shopped several different places and tried on a million different things. My dress ended up being a strapless gold one, completed with gold jewelry to match. That, and as soon as I got home, I curled my hair via curlers to make my hair a mountain of curls.

The things I do for this man of mine, I swear....

He took me to J Alexander's for dinner, which was very nice. We shared a steak and mashed potatoes (we had tried to substitute the mashed potatoes for Mac 'N Cheese, but they were out), and then we went to see Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. It was a really entertaining movie, really. Chan brought along my birthday gift as well (as we didn't know yet whether we'd be able to be together on my birthday) even though I told him NO gifts on Valentine's Day...... clever one found a loophole. I'm glad he did, because the amethyst necklace is gorgeous!

After that, comes my birthday, on February 17 (yesterday).

I'm officially old. I'm no longer 21. Anyway, I had to get up early to go to the bank and deposit my paycheck (so I'd have money to go and pay my tag on my car) and then drive after that to the tag office. That really wasn't much of a hassle. I then spent the rest of the morning cleaning my room in preparation for Chan's arrival. He arrived early, and we went to the Mall of Georgia for lunch, and then drove to Gwinnett Place Mall so that I could get my hair done. Sure, I made Chan wait, but he was easily entertained with his iPhone. Thank you, Apple. Really. You have saved my ass again.

After that, we went home for dinner (where I changed clothes and we (Dad, his fiancee Connie, Chan and myself) went out for dinner at Applebee's). The food was pretty good, but the wait was awful. Oh well. We went home afterward and ate my birthday cake that Dad bought (way to go, no chocolate on chocolate ensemble this year!) and I opened my presents, Chan helped Connie out with her laptop's issues, and then he and I went upstairs to be entertained watching South Park on my laptop. All in all, it was a good day. I'm glad Chan was here to keep me sane. I am a little concerned though, since he was feeling a little odd throughout the day. I hope he's better now, but we'll see...

Hope everyone had a good Valentine's Day, and has a good rest of the week!

Much love!

I Must Be The Weirdest Person Ever...

Wanna know why?

I hate snow. Like, with the fire of a thousand suns. This hatred has been borne of only ten years, beginning with the ice storms we had the year my sister went away for college, to present.

I'm not tolerant of extreme temperatures (which to me is anything above 80 degrees or below 75). I'm known to many of my friends as the chihuahua, because I'm always shaking and complaining it's cold. But that's not the only reason why I hate snow...

I don't like being wet, either. Snow is a huge pain in the rear when it melts. Yes, I know it's just frozen water, but I'm not a huge fan of being hit in the face with it. Or have it somehow get underneath my clothes and run in little rivulets down my body as it melts.

I was out cleaning the yard of debris when the snow flurries came. I don't know exactly what time it was when it all started, but I'm guessing that it began somewhere around 1:30. I went inside to help my boss with something that she needed, and then came out again an hour later to find our two guard dogs, Annie (a rottweiler) and Kody (a mix) shivering and covered in snow.

Dogs are so funny when they see snow. I guess because Georgia doesn't see a lot of the stuff, the dogs seem more amusing to me. They're cautious and love to sniff around, even try to sample some of the stuff.

But I digress, yet again. We were supposed to stay open until 6 as planned, but as the weather took a turn for the worse and the roads started freezing over, we all scrambled to get our work done and make the trek to our respective houses. I ended up leaving my car at the clinic, though, as Dad deemed it too dangerous for me to drive and came and got me.

And now, the main reason I've decided to hate snow:

It probably has ruined my Valentine's Day plans with my boyfriend.

He has to work the morning shift at Chang's anyway, but we had plans for me to drive up there, we'd go to dinner and a movie, and hang out for a while. Very simple, just like I wanted. However, now that there's this whole snow fiasco, I might not get to go because Dad won't let me. I know he just cares about my safety and all, but I'm just upset because I don't get to see Chan that often as I used to.

This snowstorm BS needs to end. PRONTO.

I'm So Excited.....And I Just Can't Hide It....

Yeah, I know the title of this particular entry is a little lame, but bear with me.

Yesterday, while I was at work cleaning the kennels out and feeding/walking the dogs, my friend from Nebraska called.

Okay, on a side note, I should mention the nature of our relationship. From the beginning, she was my German teacher in high school. Soon, though, we developed a friendship, and she took care of me when my mom was really sick. She was a good support system to have around (and still is). Suddenly, her sister (who she lives with, along with her entire family) got a new job in Nebraska, and she moved away in 2005. I haven't seen her since. We have kept in touch with emails and the occasional phone calls, though.

I usually drop everything when she does call. The time before yesterday that she called, I was also at work. Her sister was in Gainesville, GA on another one of her job interviews. She'd been looking for another job for a while now, and had been to Georgia on an interview with Piedmont Hospital awhile back (she didn't get that job). That particular time, she has called to tell me her sister was looking for a job in Gainesville, GA or another somewhere in Texas. We had learned very early to never hope for her return to Georgia. We'd been hoping for years.

Anyway, this particular call yesterday was very short, and I could barely hear her over the din of the barking dogs. However, the end result brightened my day considerably: Her sister accepted the job in Gainesville, and that my friend will be back in Georgia at the end of the school year in Nebraska!

I've been doing a happy dance ever since I got that phone call, I swear.